Should I be suspicious of my husbands actions?

[Hanley_s_Bar]

Here\'s the rule on that one because I had to have a guy friend explain it to me:  If you pay the bill, or any portion of it -you have the right to see the bill anytime you want.  If he pays the bill, you don\'t have the right to look at his cell phone or the bill etc.  

Now, as silly as that might sound at first, I got to thinking about it -and he\'s absolutley right!  You know what I did?  I went out, dropped our plan (in my name) and got my own phone and cut his off -just because he refused to let me see his phone.  He wanted to play some stupid game and so I played it right back.  Mind you, this was right after a cheating incident as well.  

Now, you\'re probably thinking, \"a lot of good that\'s going to do because then I still don\'t get the information I want.\"  WRONG!  Doing what you just did just drops his guard a little...and also makes him wonder what the hell YOU might be up to like, \"Why doesn\'t she let me see her phone\" (just like he did you) etc.  AND you can still get all the info you want to his account (without him being so suspicious).  Just wait for the bill to come in the mail.  Take the bill and it will either already provide the info, or will give you enough info about the account to request the information online...and PRESTO!  You have what you want to know.

I can\'t blame you for being suspicious.  I was too for a long time.  Matter of fact, I\'m not actually sure I got over it, but I think it had a little to do with my own dishonestly (only I still agree that it\'s not as bad as HIS).


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Jessicca_R]

Wow. It\'s hard enough living everyday life trying to trust anyone, much less your own husband. I am so sorry that he broke that line of trust with you. I think the first thing you need to be worrying about is why? I do not know if you have already had counseling but if you have not, I recommend you do right away. You need answers, and you need closure. He knows how bad he hurt you and he is telling you you are acting crazy! No.You are only acting like any normal person who has been hurt would act. His lack of consideration for your needs after he hurt you is not right. This is not about the phone. I really do not think you should trust him completely yet, sorry to say. I\'m not saying this to upset you but I think you just need to be careful and seek counseling. Good Luck!


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[iyamacog]

You will never be able to let it go.  Anyone who is not open with their spouse, obviously has something to hide.  Good Luck with your sanity on this one......  ♥♥


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Anne]

If your gonna stay sugar you need to forgive him. Nagging all the time wont help trust me. I was in your shoes 2 years ago. Going threw his cell or the account info or his pockets or even his car aint helping you.
I know thats what your doing. But now look at you, your going crazy. Let go of the \"What ifs\". Because if you dont he\'ll think you never trust him and do it again just out of spite.


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[DrLesMoore]

You have a problem and I don\'t think you will EVER get past it.  Your problem is that you have been injured.  It is like a car accident where you get hurt.  Or a financial scam that you have been a victim.  You will never be the same again.  You have been cheated on and your trust for your husband has been injured.  The telephone is justification for the argument.  There are a lot of things separate in marriage, like, you don\'t use the same tooth brush or the same wash cloth.  What is the big deal about the same telephone plan.

If you can\'t forgive him, you might have to consider new alternatives.  Love hurts, that\'s why they call it \"falling in love.\"


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Jen]

Trust is not automatic.  Trust is earned.  

He blew it when you were separated and he cheated.  Only people that have something to hide act this way.  He wants to keep you, and have the freedom to text whoever he wants, when he wants.

Why do you tolerate being treated this way?  He needs to earn your respect.  

What would he do if you close to hide your phone activities or online activities from him?  If he won\'t listen, to the rational of \"good for the goose / good for the gander\" you\'ll know that he feels that his right to privacy is more important that your feelings of his not being fully honest or faithful with you.  

And that\'s the very last thing a truly loving, remorseful husband would want to do at this point in your relationship.

Go with your gut and female intuition - it\'s always right-on.


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[abrahamalvira]

Well if he is not acting shady like he is trying to hide something then you really shouldn\'t be so aggressive with him because he is going to end up leaving you. You sounds to me like you haven\'t truly forgave him and this can cause problems in a relation ship because every-time you see him on the phone you will always have in the back of your head that he is talking to another women. But if he is showing signs of creeping then of-course you have every right to check his phone. But the way your doing it you will end up pushing him away.    Hope this helps...


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Bellavita]

I think you\'re right - his reluctance to be open about information that should, under normal circumstances, be available to both spouses could be cause for suspicion. Hell, as far as I know my husband has never cheated on me, and if he told me I couldn\'t see our phone bills anymore that would make me suspicious right there.

On the other hand, if your husband feels that he really is trying to make amends for what he\'s done, and your desire to monitor his phone usage is new, I can sort of understand how he would see that as you showing a lack of faith in him. Just barely.

But in the end, since he was the one that stepped out, he has to accept that this is a consequence of his actions.  And if it\'s only been a few months, he should be willing to give you that as a goodwill gesture.

Since you said you \"discovered\" that he was cheating, I\'m guessing that means he didn\'t come forward to confess, but that you caught him.  So well done him for trying to fix things, but he\'s already started on the back foot - even if your husband hasn\'t done anything, he needs to consider if the long-term damage this will do is worth the point he\'s trying to make.


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Virginia]

if u cant trust him then u dont need to be in a relationship with him! let it go or move on! sounds like hes trying to prove himself to you and your tearing him down with your lack of trust! ITS ALL ABOUT TRUST! ask yourself one question do i trust him now?!


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[honey]

I don\'t get it. He added you. You flipped out over text messages. Did he delete you after that? If not, why would you need to re-added? If you have a family-shared plan, doesn\'t that mean you have a cell phone where your activity would be found on the exact same site as his?

Outside of that, if you cheated while you guys were separated, that means something was going on to make you separate. The cheating, although bad, seems like a small part of what\'s going on between you guys. Did you separate because of him or you cheating? If not, why do you have a fear that he\'s up to something? Rather than flip out, why not just ask him what\'s up with it?

\"He doesn\'t understand that it has only been three months and I am not going to all the sudden trust him completely. In fact, I\'m sure I never will like I used to.\"  That statement right there suggests to me that you guys should not have gotten back together at this point and time, if at all. What\'s the point in forgiving/getting back together if you\'re still uncertain about him? If you need to check behind him, he\'s not worth being with. If you don\'t need to check behind him, there\'s no need to press the phone issue, so you should let it go. Either way, I don\'t think you should push him to adding you if your only reason is to check up on his activity. Married or not, no one wants to be scrutinized. You either trust him or you don\'t.


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Be_Unique]

Hey Girlfriend,

I am sorry that you have to deal with his mess. Your husband obviously is hiding something from you and like you said it will never be the same. He is a flirty he was and he always will, pretty sure he has a bunch of girl friends that calls him all the time and send him txt messages. You have to either ignored all the facts and wait until he really drives you crazy and maybe go to a couples therapy or just leave him


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit

[Amethyst_Phoenix]

Don\'t push him or nag him. Tell him why you want to be added and that you have a right to be added since you are suppose to share everything in a marriage.

If he\'s still saying no, then he does have something to hide. You two are in serious need of talk... to each other and likely a counselor. If you want to stay together, that\'s the only path that has a chance.

But try not to automatically jump to \"he\'s cheating again\" mode, for your sake. My mother did that and now she doesn\'t trust anybody at all. Hasn\'t been with another man for over a decade and has no friends.

(I hope you don\'t have kids, my father cheated on my mother right and left... it messed me up for years and my brother\'s still a bit messed up too.)


verizon repair | verizon billing | verizon customer service | verizon credit