luvmyboy9
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« on: June 04, 2009, 11:47:05 AM » |
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My husband and I have a family share plan with Verizon. A few months ago while we were separated he unfortunately cheated on me. Since discovering this we have gotten back together and things have been great. I of course still have alot of insecurities, but I\'m trying my best. A couple months ago I got suspicious and asked him to add me to our \"account\" so I could view information. He did and I saw that there were alot of text messages and flipped out on him. He said \"this is why I didn\'t want to add you, because you will over analyze everything\" so yesterday I asked him to add me so I can view our mins...etc and he told me \"no\". He said it will make me crazy and he won\'t add me. We argued argued and argued more. In fact, we still are. It makes me feel he is up to no good if he won\'t have things be an open book. He doesn\'t understand that it has only been three months and I am not going to all the sudden trust him completely. In fact, I\'m sure I never will like I used to. But it is going to take time. He has been amazing. Very loving, dedicated and caring towards me, but I still have that \"what if\" in the back of my head. Should I let the phone thing go or still push him to add me?? He is very fixed about not adding me.
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crazy8eddie
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« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2009, 11:59:33 AM » |
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let it go
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_Robin_Sparkles_
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« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2009, 01:51:46 PM » |
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in my opinion, if you think you might need to be suspicious, you probably do.
he seems to have over-reacted if it was \"nothing\" but that\'s just my opinion.
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iiidontknowdoyou
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« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2009, 03:57:40 PM » |
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if he had nothing to hide, he would add you!
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jack
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« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2009, 04:08:55 PM » |
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bbq
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thomas_r
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« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2009, 05:49:04 PM » |
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I think you should be happy that he took you back and not say another word about this whole phone issue.
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Mumsey
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« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2009, 07:21:53 PM » |
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Hey if you are married your life should be an open book to each other.
Okay lets see you called hubby on the add me to the a/c and he flipped out, so what is there to hide if its all on the up and up, if you started texting guys he would flip too.
I smell a rat, a close to being divorced rat.
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kuppkake
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« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2009, 11:37:03 PM » |
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sorry hon, but he\'s still got something to hide...otherwise, he\'d put you on the account so you can access the info
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regjoeschmo
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« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2009, 12:12:04 AM » |
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Marriage counseling...... These things happen during separation, and could have been the catalyst in him wanting to work things out with you....
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no_telling2003
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« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2009, 12:22:08 AM » |
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If it happens once, it will happen again. You need to figure out your level of tolerances!!!! good luck!
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raynestar3
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« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2009, 01:47:17 AM » |
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You have a right to your own account information. Tell him so and demand you get it. Tell him his denying you that right based on your previous reaction to the texting is only making you MORE suspicious and distrustful of him. Is that what he wants? He owes you complete open honesty after you so very graciously forgave his cheating.
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Mrs__Heather_Schab
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« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2009, 03:14:17 AM » |
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In my opinion, it\'s the principle of the thing. If he is absolutely being adament about not adding you, there is obviously a reason for neglecting to do so. I would be worried he were trying to hide something, and I would be demanding that he add me. There is no reason for privacy if one is not hiding anything -- and I am NOT the type of person who believes in privacy in a marriage.
In my opinion, I\'d be leaving if he refused to be completely open with me since he cheated. If he is going to cheat and you make an agreement to work on it, then he needs to be 100% open. If not, that shows me he\'s not committed to working on things, so I go.
My husband and I are both completely open with one another and do not hide anything. I don\'t check up on my husband but I easily could if I wanted to, because I have all his information for everything as he has mine as well.
Good luck.
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Leo
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« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2009, 03:29:35 AM » |
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that Thomas R guy is crazy and divorced dont listen to him. he asked a question that if his child were to have an untimely and unexpected accident and die would he still have to pay child support to his greedy ex wife.......real nice huh?
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Here2Help
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« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2009, 03:46:05 AM » |
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Ive been in a 4 year relationship with my boyfriend... I\'m 15.. But mature for my age. He did the same thing to me... lied. cheated. and now i cant completly trust him. But what i\'ve realized.. If you get that gut feeling that hes lying to you. He is. Dont put up with it. EVERY SINGLE TIME i got that feeling... i found out he was up to no good. You dont deserve that, if hes not there for you 100%, get out!!!
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Iris
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« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2009, 03:57:55 AM » |
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he has something to hide if he is not willing to add you. if he doesn\'t want to add you, ask him if you can see all the text messages he gets. I will be frank and honest with you but 3 out of 4 men will cheat if they can get away with it (this comes from a scholarly journal and not off the top of my head). I would be suspicous and don\'t blame for the way you are feeling.
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